January Diets and Girl Scout Cookies

The Girl Scout Organization has lousy timing. And I am not talking about the fact that young, eager scouts approach me at the front door of the supermarket while I am still fumbling to put my keys away and don’t have any cash. No, the fact that they are there at all smacks of a marketing department that fell asleep on the job.

When I approached the grocery store in December, I was ready to embrace the abundance of each isle. I had handfuls of recipes with highlighted ingredients. Cream of tartar? Check. Two bags of semi-sweet morsels? Check. Brown sugar? Check. Apple cider bread with golden raisins and cranberries? Not on the list, but definitely now in the cart. You get where I am going with this.

Which is why when I approach the grocery store in January, the only things I am armed with are my Weight Watchers calculator and my resolve. The market no longer feels like I am entering my grandmothers’ kitchen filled with baked goods, great aromas, friendly faces, and comfort food. Now it’s more like going down into her basement. Get what you need and get out.

Except, this month, standing between me and my bagged salads, are young girls holding boxes of Thin Mints, Somoas, and (heaven help us!) Peanut Butter Tagalongs.  And I can’t help but think, January? Really?  The gyms are still full! Now, I am well aware that the Girl Scouts pull in $700 million annually hawking their cookies at this time of year, but, they could do better! Stay with me here.

There is a thin window of opportunity for them between the weeks we start shedding heavy, belly hiding sweaters and start worrying about bathing suits. And it usually starts with the Cadbury Egg. That’s right; they should start their campaign a few weeks before Easter. I, for one, would pick peanut butter patties over Peeps anytime. Not good for you? Okay, than wait till July. It is the busiest vacation month of the year and I don’t know anyone who doesn’t say “hey, I’m on vacation” before putting something they shouldn’t in their mouths. Trefoils shortbread cookies would pack great in a beach bag. No melting.

Not feeling it? Well then, how about fall. I mean, we are about to start the holiday feasting season by eating tons of candy out of a pillow case that our kids lugged around for blocks. Wouldn’t a Do-si-dos and a cold glass of milk be healthier? And – we wouldn’t have to wait for the kids to go to bed!

I, by any means, am not a marketing genius. So who am I to question the sales distribution of a multi-million dollar organization?  And maybe this is just a plea on my part to get them to move away from the one month of the year I can actually stick to a weight loss program.  And after all, part of the Girl Scout Promise, following “On my honor” is “I will try and help all people” Well girls; there are millions of us out there who you could help each year, if you would just learn to say "Merry Christmas, would you like to buy some cookies?" Just saying.