Bud, my Dad, was a man who always let you know
what was on his mind. Even when you didn’t want to know. He was a man who liked things done his way, or
at least the way he would do them. This
put us at odds, at times, and he would often end up describing my efforts as
doing things “ass backwards”. “Meaning?” I would question just to annoy him, “You
do things the hard way. Like walking into a room backwards.” I was never really
sure what my ass had to do with it, but years later, I got his analogy. And Bud,
if you were looking down when we renovated the kitchen a few years back you would
have crowned me the Queen of Ass Backwards Land!

When we finally returned home several hours
later, most of our second floor bathroom was in our first floor kitchen…..and
my son was watching TV. To this day, the actions that lead to this near
catastrophic event are unclear. But the chaos that followed included; trash
cans, shovels, crowbars, mops, buckets and cursing. The latter part being my
contribution. Every one of my white cabinets was filled with water, the wall separating
the kitchen and powder room was swollen to twice its normal size. The wooden
floors had started to buckle. We all spent that Sunday night bagging up the
kitchen ceiling which was now our kitchen floor. We opened the walls to let
some of the water out. My husband removed the wainscot paneling we had just
installed and I bagged up all of the debris. In the morning, I called the
insurance company and was told that our policy included 24/7 damage clean-up
and that I should have called them first. Ass backwards.
In the daylight, everything looked worse. The
only things left untouched were the refrigerator and the TV that sat on top of
it. As I glanced heartbroken around the empty shell that once was my kitchen, I
looked up at the news where they were reporting that Katrina’s storm surge had
breached the levies and New Orleans was all but gone. Perspective can heal a
heart quickly.
As I said, my cabinets were white and my
appliances matched. I had always wanted stainless steel appliances so maybe
this would be the time to change. But the insurance contractor anointed my
current stove, refrigerator and dishwasher as “excluded” from damaged goods and
did not include replacing them in the claim. Since two of them were newer, we
decided not to “challenge” his decision. (The fact that I did not research our
rights with the insurance company until well after the renovation was completed
was big time – Ass Backwards.)
But continuing……We decided to throw some of our
own money into the remodel and upgraded to high oak cabinets with crown molding
and a unique “chocolate cranberry” granite countertop that we hand selected
from a stone yard. Once completed, I was thrilled. And besides my scheduling
the cabinets to go in before the new floor was installed, I thought things were
going very well. Right up until I told
my very patient husband that I had always wanted a center island. “Why didn't you say that before they put the counter top in? We will never be able
to match that granite! However, he came
up with a design that used the remaining tiles from the backsplash as a top for
the island while chiding me on my inability to make decisions in a logical
manner. I’ve heard. Ass backwards.

Fantastic as always....Bud reminds me of my own father, sharing the same favorite saying. Thanks for contributing your household follies and the memory of your father.
ReplyDeleteThanks Julie!If your Dad was like my Dad then he was a trip! First time I mentioned him, but I am sure his name will appear again!
ReplyDeleteI actually like the island counter top. It looks great :)
ReplyDeleteThanks! I do too. Sometimes doing things backwards pays off!
ReplyDelete