Wednesday, January 2, 2013

The Groom's Side...Part V

I am thinking that when you are the mother of the bride, it has to be easier. Girls, by nature are more talkative, and that is a huge plus side on the communication issue. I was fortunate enough to have my future daughter in-law ask both her mother and me to accompany her on the much anticipated quest for the dress. It was an exciting venture that I never thought I’d have since the fertility gods gave me two boys…in one year. Two and through!

Anyway, we shopped, and laughed and applauded most of her choices! We then went to get a bite to eat which included more wedding conversation and laughter. I bring this to light, so you can get an understanding of the polarized opposite side of communicating with the groom on his wedding day apparel.

Me – “Her dress is beautiful. Do you have in mind what you and the groomsmen are wearing?”
Him – “Yes, I do”
Me – “Well, what does it look like?”
Him – “What does her dress look like?”
Me – “I can’t tell you that!”
Him – “Then I don’t have to talk about what the men are wearing do I?”

Okay. We’re going there. Added to the apparel issues is the fact that this is going to be a beach wedding, which sometimes denotes more casual apparel with almost everyone wearing flip flops for the ceremony.  Then, the reception is being held in an upscale country club where ties and heels will be the order of the evening.  So what is going on inside my son’s head when it comes to wedding fashion is a concern for me.

More to the point, a few years ago, my niece had a beach wedding in Florida with a very similar venue of having the reception held inside a posh hotel. My son, the bride’s cousin, was the only person wearing shorts…to both. Yes, to him a beach wedding is a game changer. Sand, sun, shorts and sandals equals beach time…anytime. He was disappointed that when they broke down the alter, they didn't put up a volleyball net. Hence the apprehension he is causing me now.

But he is also a college graduate whose job requires on occasion that he wear suits. And he buys very nice ones, so I know he knows what is expected. But it is the playful side, the “I have to be me” side that has me questioning his decision here.

 And…throw this into the equation! Recently his fiance whose out-of-state sisters came home for Christmas, used the opportunity to gather up all of the girls and dress shop for the bridesmaids. A successful outing prompted her to post on my son’s Facebook page “Your turn…girls are done”.

He then replied “what are you talking about, we’re done!” And here is where it gets scary; he posted a link to a website featuring a blue Hawaiian shirt that has actual pieces of coconut shells for buttons!!! Lord help me! I thought about including a picture of the shirt here, but this site is a legitimate web page where people actually go to buy these types of shirts, so I don’t want to offend anyone…but trust me. It’s ugly.

I know he is playing with us. Right? He always is dressed nicely when I see him. I thought my finding a dress for this wedding was going to be the big challenge for the groom’s side of things. I fear I'm wrong. Was my own challenge with fashion passed on to my son?

I recently learned from his brother, the best man, that at the bachelor party weekend in New Orleans, the groom wants the activities to include him wrestling an alligator. The one getting married is the one I always count on to keep an eye on his slightly younger brother who views life as a party waiting to happen. So the fact that the roles are reversed here has thrown me way off balance. The only response I had to this declaration was, "if he brings that blue Hawaiian shirt make sure he is wearing it as he is being thrashed around in a swamp."

And then there is this; on New Year's night, at a family gathering the subject of wedding apparel came up. The soon-to-be bride, going along with her groom's (hopefully) whimsical apparel choice, asked, "well, you can't all wear the same color Hawaiian shirt. How will people know you're the groom?"
"Oh, don't worry,", he smiled, "I'll be the one wearing the headdress."
God helps us!

Photos by ImageGoggle


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