Sunday, June 2, 2013

Groom's Side Part IX...A year in the making.

Hands soon to be joined in marriage!
There are just three weeks left to the day we have been planning for! And one month less than a year ago, I started  "The Groom's Side" as a side blog to the ever growing "Kitchen Clatter", shortly after my son proposed to the love of his life. I thought  'this will be easy, so much to write about' was anything but. After the milestones, such as the engagement party, dress shopping, shower planning and so forth, there were large periods where not much was going on, wedding wise, and my topics were getting slim. Add to this, a national monthly bridal magazine started following The Groom's Side and was intrigued with the concept and wanted to see twelve posts before buying the complete package.Yikes! Twelve?

 So now, with just 20 days to go, here's part one of a retrospect of where we've been on this journey. So much has changed in my personal life, In looking back,  I was anxious to see if my perspective had altered as well. I was hoping that what had become a painful autumn for me, did not reflect in what was meant to be a tribute to my son and his fiance. Additionally, several thousand people started joining us along the way, commenting on things like what I should wear, the beautiful bride and handsome groom, beach weddings, and how to get a pair of Spanx on without killing myself. I have made so many new "friends" through this blog, all of who are waiting for the grand finale, that I feel an obligation to see this through!

So let's take a look back...

Groom's Side Part 1 was baby steps into the wedding world. I tried to examine the responsibilities of the groom's parents and wasn't getting much help from the so called "experts". There definitely seemed to be some ambiguity on what was expected of the groom's parents. "Rehearsal dinner" kept coming up, but after that, there was no clear direction offered. So I kept searching. Next up? What to wear.

Groom’s Side Part II "Show up. Shut up. Wear Beige" I remember reading this on a wedding site sponsored by the New York Times, and laughing out loud. “Your little boy is all grown up and is getting married. Now you're not just Mom, you're the Mother of the Groom. There's a traditional saying about what the mother of the groom is supposed to do – Show Up, Shut Up and Wear Beige.” What? And then it continues, “While mothers of the groom don't really need to wear beige anymore they still need to shut up. I know this may be hard to hear, but it's true." 

" As 'show up, shut up and wear beige' is still resonating in my head, I quickly switched websites and found this on; “The groom's mom should only compliment the gowns to be worn by the bride's mom and bridesmaids, not overdo or outdo them”. Well no problem here. As a non-speaking, non-intrusive mother of the groom dressed in beige and blending in with the sand at a beach wedding, it would be hard to “outdo” anyone. Maybe I should just put on a wet suit and quietly snorkel in the nearby waves. Do they sell beige wet suits? The out-dated and insane information from a trusted website made this blog one of my favorites."

Groom’s Side Part III…The Engagement Party! The bride's mother, the bride and myself, pulled off a great party even in lieu of the threat of violent storms! A planned garden party was moved indoors and could not have gone better, prompting me to write the following:
Beautiful cake made by Jean, bride's mom! 

"I told my husband on the way over that as a co-host, I was going to try hard to mingle and not let the different factions of people segregate into their own areas. But as is typical of human nature, as soon as introductions were made, the younger bridal party gathered on an enclosed back porch, the bride’s family congregated in the kitchen, and my family and friends took to the living room where my sisters were discussing my need to wear false eyelashes to the wedding, and my friends were discussing 50 Shades of Grey. Both topics of conversations that, I am sure, were not taking place in the kitchen….or on the porch. Maybe some things are best left the way they are." I ended that blog with describing the love between Trevor and Kathleen;  "The love in their eyes gave me comfort. Both sets of their parents have combined marriages of over 70 years, so the ground work has been laid. Compromise and humor will get them through most everything.......and the four of  us will always be there for anything else!"

Life happens. Shortly after the September engagement party, I found out that my close to 40-year old marriage was suddenly ending. Completely shattered, I had to pick up the pieces and find  a way to keep things going. The magazine interested in buying the complete series had mentioned the humor and writing style as a condition of purchase. My sense of humor had completely shut down and my laptop sat unopened for days. After a short period of mourning, I prayed for the strength to refocus. I so wanted not to be a victim, but rather a strong woman that both my sons could be proud of. They were my motivation in keeping myself standing and moving. Bob Marley once said "It's amazing how strong you can be when strong is your only choice."...and it was.

Next up? How the Groom's Side moved on!

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