Monday, January 26, 2015

Here We Go Again! The Groom's Side Part II

Kyle and Melissa!
It has been an absolute crazy year and half since my first son Trevor got married. At that time, I was married, (barely), living in another house (barely), hanging by a thread (barely) and still determined to enjoy every bit of that wedding. And I did.

Now, my youngest son, (please don't kill me Kyle) my baby, is getting married. When the boys were little, he was the one who always found my hand in a crowd. And now, he's found someone else's, and I couldn't be happier.

And if you think for one moment that I can use my previous "mother of the groom" experience for this would be wrong. There is nothing traditional about this couple. They live to entertain. Just weeks before I purchased my place, they purchased their new home not 15 minutes from me. Most weekends find it filled with friends or family, food and firewood (fireplace or fire pit, time of year doesn't matter much to them) as long as it's a gathering. I love them for that.

With that said, their similarities are less then you might think. But first, let me get back to the beginning. They met at a hospital where Kyle, a recent culinary school graduate was the lead chef and Melissa was a food runner putting herself through Rutgers University to become a registered dietitian. Kyle is funny and loaded with charisma. Melissa is full of life and ready to enjoy it. This was a perfect pairing and it was on!

One of my favorite pictures of them!
Since Melissa commuted to school daily by a train close to our house, many nights during the week, she would stay over with us. She quickly became part of the family. I can still see her sitting at the table doing homework, just as my guys had done years before. Sometimes we would sit at the kitchen island and talk for hours. I loved that she always noticed my holiday decorations days before any of the men. But the best part is, I got to witness a closeup of the interaction between the two of them. Not something a Mom always gets to observe.

Kyle always fed her need to be organize with his desire not to be. She kept a journal of her activities and plans for several months out. Even her future oil changes were estimated in. She cleaned his room and organized his closet, even putting yellow post its up on his mirror with reminders of their activities. My (then) husband and I would quietly laugh in our room as we would hear him mumble as he pulled a new one down, "what the hell is this now."

On his part, and I'm not sure if its his 6'3" large frame that makes him feel so protective of her 5'2" well-toned form, (the result of being a work out fanatic), but he is. He told me once that it is her nature to try and please everyone and the result can sometimes lead to people taking advantage of her. She doesn't always see it, he explained, and it bothers him. He encourages her to take firmer stands when someone is pulling her in a direction she really doesn't want to go. Maybe with someone permanently at your side, it's easier to hold your stand.

He cooks, she balances meals with healthy salads. (Even if we order a pizza she makes a salad to go with it).She likes working out,  hiking and camping, he likes golfing, fantasy football and anything but camping. But somehow, it all works. They balance each other so well. He knows her fondness of the outdoors, and one late autumn day, offered to take a walk in the woods with her. When it was over, he dropped to his knee and proposed. Simple and classic.

These two are the least pretentious people I know. Nothing has to be fancy or forced. They thrive in their home when  family and friends are surrounding them. I know this wedding venue will take place in a natural setting, relaxed, informal and fun. And here's a point to prove that.

Just the other night, my two boys, two girls and sister came to dinner to start planning the wedding  and the baby shower that is the result of the first time I was the mother of the groom! Anyway, as they were leaving, Trevor was showing me his new car which has a rear view camera for backing up. Kyle yells, "Hey Mom, get in and try the camera!." So I did. Slipped in, put my foot on the brake, the car in reverse, and looked down at the screen. There, in all it's glory, was a "full moon" provided to me by my son Kyle! I couldn't see his face, but I knew who it was. The four of them were laughing hard as I was screaming "KYLE" into my otherwise quiet neighborhood.

I posted the incident on Facebook and got 18 comments that basically said the same thing "that is so Kyle!", and it is. My real problem is a comment that I heard him say as I was getting out of the car to come around and smack his arm. "Mom, just think how much fun the wedding is going to be."

Lord help me!


  1. Me too Bet! I couldn't be more happy!

  2. Jo Ann! Came upon this wonderful post belatedly. What a terrific tribute to Kyle and his dream girl Melissa. Sounds like a nice couple.

  3. Thanks Joe! Not sure how you came upon it since it's a couple months old but so glad you did! Love my boys and can't wait for this wedding!